*
by Martin Huxley*

Raise two to a prime p and then Take off one --- is it prime, asks MERSENNE? What MERSENNE never knew, It looks nice in base two, And an analogue's stated base ten. Nor FERMAT nor MERSENNE really shone With a listing of primes that's spot on, And students now snigger At an incorrect figure, Dividing by six forty-one. A reduction step acting on pairs Gets a prime to be sum of two squares; FERMAT's own device, That he used once or twice, As he listened to legal affairs. "No sum of two cubes makes a third, And higher pow'rs, also absurd, But the space in this marge Being not very large..."; No more from FERMAT has been heard. "On the shoulders of giants," said haughty Sir ISAAC. Few heard this as naughty. But he based calculation On whose observations? Astronomer HOOKE was a shorty. [NEWTON] Sir ISAAC had many pursuits, But at school we learned two of his fruits: The Laws about Motion, And (opposite notion) The methods for putting down roots. [NEWTON] A fact that has long been suppressed Is that NEWTON's old polygon's best. Its factor detection Proceeds by inspection, Anticipates EISENSTEIN's test. Each night an hour longer in bed Was the plight of DE MOIVRE, it's said. "In two weeks, it's plain, I shall not wake again By induction." And then he was dead. His astronomy book must be shewn To the King, and LAPLACE stands alone. "We regard it as odd, "there's no mention of GOD!" "I neglect higher Pow'rs of Unknown!" Buying horses and cows at the fair, One sev'n seventy, nothing to spare. "How many bought now?" "Twenty-one for a cow, Thirty-one roubles each for a mare!" [EULER] Is insight notationed or notioned? The parts out of n, what's the quotient? In EULER's construction, No further reduction, Phi (n) - but why call it the totient? There are several proofs that GAUSS saw For the Great Reciprocity Law, But none had the look Of the Pearly-Bound Book, So he sat down to find even more. A progression from zero, steps q, Reduce mod p, stop halfway through. How many are minus Determines the sign as Pow'r p minus one over two. [GAUSS] The last proof of GAUSS reciprocity Depends on the sort of atrocity Each Little-Go student, However imprudent, Was accustomed to solve with velocity. You innocents, listen in time: Not ev'rything's true that's sublime. If it's certain that GAUSS Did not keep a pet mouse, We would still make it up for the rhyme. With CARL GUSTAF JACOB JACOBI, No integral's safe from his probe. He Filled leather-bound Works With notations and quirks, That still can't be read in Adobe. When CARL GUSTAF JACOB JACOBI Left Potsdam to travel the globe, he Crossed over the Oder To train under YODA As Jedi, or be one can no be. The fractions we now know as FAREY, He looked at a table, and there he At properties hinted Which CAUCHY had printed; Nomenclature's quite arbitrary. Although Baron CAUCHY had founded Analysis, rigorous, grounded, His papers were tending Towards the unending; The Academy wanted them bounded. In ABEL's `Quintessence' one stage Was quoted from CAUCHY the sage, "Comptes, last year". You look: It's a very thick book, And CAUCHY wrote every page. Of NAPOLEON's soldiers, most fell; Field of honour or snowfield, both Hell. That campaign, it gave birth To Operations Research, And to MERTENS's mother as well. LEGENDRE wrote `easily seen'; We know what such weasel words mean. To set matters straight Made DIRICHLET create L(s, chi) and the modern machine. Just the primes in A. P. are officially Ascribed to the younger DIRICHLET. Both residue symbol And HOOLEY-fied nimble Interchange were DIRICHLET initially. DIRICHLET assumed the existence If it comes from some physical systems, Of pulleys and pistons, Or water in cisterns Or forces that act at a distance. In the integral studied by AIRY, The sine of x cubed appears scary. There's an interval small Which approximates all, Where the angle, or phase, doesn't vary. Conspiracy theorists thrill How GALOIS wrote out, not a will, But his ultimate draft (Two rejected as daft) On Groups, and then went to the kill. (see BORGES, `The Legend of the Hero and the Assassin') If GALOIS had made an apology, Or shot first and gone back to College, he Would have done so much more, And, surer than SCHUR, Beaten STEINROD to found cohomology. Is RIEMANN's last joke still a laugh? He carefully plots on a graph The sum of the series, Deducing nine zeros, "And probably x is one half." Under gravity, gas in a ball, Do the free oscillations stay small? The stable condition: First order HERMIT'ian, And RIEMANN discovered it all. If RIEMANN had spoken his heart, We would have POLYA's clue from the start: His manuscript revels In energy levels, Then zeta is taken apart. (thanks to KEATING for finding this) "What are numbers and what should they be?" Was DEDEKIND's philosophy. He cut to the real, Imposed the ideal, And his sum is a rum cup of tea. To accompany JACOBI's theta, And its transform that RIEMANN called zeta, This DEDEKIND chap Filled a much-needed gap In the alphabet: DEDEKIND's eta. When LINDEL"OF lightly let slip A conjecture on zeta, his tip Was carefully sounded: "I don't think it's bounded All over the critical strip." Success seemed to bless ARTHUR CAYLEY, Who climbed ev'ry mountain-top gaily, He ate strawberry jam In his house on the Cam, And published on Algebra daily. Academicals honour his leg, He gave us three square roots of neg, Was rude to his wife For most of his life, In his papers they found a fried egg. [HAMILTON] HERMITE was picked up as a spy, "No, it's Maths. I'll explain. Let me try..." "What I understand Can't be Maths" (gun in hand). Good thing some top brass wandered by. When Logic abandoned its lodging At the hand of the artful CHARLES DODGSON, Was `Alice' a cover For trysts with her mother, An urgent erogenous sojourn? LEWIS CARROLL found permanent fame When he played a determinant game, When studying minors, Attaching a sign, as The Matrix herself was his aim. [DODGSON] To render the ancients their due, It has long been regarded as true, (Implicit in GAUSS And some work of LANDAU's) That unity doubled makes two. Is the RIEMANN Hypothesis true? How helpful is CHEBYSHEV's clue? "The numbers called `primes' You can't build up from `times' Can be found from factorials too". Where POUSSIN outshone HADAMARD Was to fathom where no zeros are, A domain which essentially Goes back for a century, But it doesn't go back very far. The inversions that M"OBIUS knew: The surfaces, one side or two, With az+b Over cz+d, And mu (n), which does not require glue. By a process he cannot discuss, As POINCARE sat on the bus, He saw the deduction Of laws theta-FUCHS-ian. What if he used the Metro like us? Great ideas without names we can see In the busy nineteenth century. GRASSMAN used tensors daily, There are quotients in CAYLEY, And SCHUR found Co-Homology. |

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